Can’t put down a name..

” Well i want to write about you, how your smile means the world to me. How i fell in love with you, how you’ve hurt me and made me cry and how in an instant you’ve made everything perfect. You know on the shores of life people walk and leave their imprints and then waves come and with time those imprints get merged back into the shores of life. But for me you are the wave. The one thing that shall always make other impressions dissappear and stay with me all my life coming constantly with grace and peace. The nature fascinates me- a walk in the rain, a stroll in the wind that just brushes your face and makes you feel rejuvenated, a walk along a lake- so peaceful, so quiet, moonlight shimmering on  a silent river making a path on the river and inviting anyone and everyone to come. But you fascinate me more. I’ve always wanted memories with you and all i have are images.-
 
Images to live by,
Images to keep.
Images till i die,
Making me laugh and weep.
 
Images that are too good,
& images better still.
Images of walking in the green wood
& together enjoying the winter chill
 
Images of sorrow and of pain,
Images one wonders whether to hold.
Images have feelings i can’t explain,
& emotions that can’t be told.
 
Images can’t let go off these,
Also can’t let go off you.
You are the one bringing serenity and peace,
Guess thats what makes love so true.
 
Images from the distant past,
Images from time yet to arrive.
Images being moulded and recast,
Giving my throbbing heart a life.
 
Images are dreams with open eyes,
A silent prayer for our desire.
They are wishes in disguise,
Being wished by heart with all its fire.
 
In the sparkling sun i’ve imagined,
Happy both of us, you and me.
What are the chances i fancied,
Both being together and free.
 
Breaking chains that bind,
& so many cages still to break.
Cause so many roads left to find,
& yet so many paths to make.
 
I’m always wishing you were here,
In heart, body and soul with me.
So that my images would bear,
the fruits of dreams that were supposed to be. “

(This was written by someone who doesn’t want his name to be disclosed but these words so touched my soul that I urged him to allow me to put this up on my blog even if I had to do it without a name)

Feel it on your fingertips….

The rains…I hated them! They were about muddy roads, messy clothes, cancelled trips to the market, puchka sacrifices (ofcourse the chatpata water could cause jaundice!) and worst of all, a constant state of depression caused by a weather devoid of sunlight. Well- Dehradun rainfall could do that to you, it was incessant, the ‘Raining cats and dogs’ idiom would apply without a thought and to give you a sense of it, we beat Cherrapunji !! Needless to say, the monsoon in Dehradun was wetter than the sea. 

          This year Delhi seems to have taken that place (of leaving the sea far behind). But it’s the strangest thing that as much as I try to remind myself of all the hatred I have for this season, I can’t seem to stop falling in love with the rains. Each time I stand in my balcony and look out at the rain, there is a sense of calmness and peace that pervades every part of my mind, body and soul. It’s beautiful, this rain….reminds me of Madonna’s song- ‘Rain’ and this other song titled- ‘Lady Rain’. It makes me want to go into a forest and keep looking at the lush green trees, the droplets shining on their leaves as the sun emerges from behind the clouds and the animals scurrying past each other. Each time I imagine this scene, a smile lights up on my face and I love the rains even more. Ofcourse, the city has its own charm- school children dressed in colourful raincoats and gumboots, hopping to school, enjoying the water on the roads and jumping into every puddle on their way. The school reminds me of this fascinating story our teachers told us – every time the sun came out while it was raining, it meant that a fox was getting married! Don’t blame the child’s imagination if she runs out everytime there is a sunshower, hoping to see a fox getting married. You can’t miss the rainbow can you? Something we all associate with the rains. A multicoloured piece of art as real as colours on a canvas.

          These rains open up a world of imagination and as you look out of the window, every droplet brings back a plethora of memories, of you and your best friend playing Hide and Seek in the rain, of paper boats sailing in the stream formed outside your house, of movies, popcorn and friends, of lovers huddled under a tree smiling at each other, of your family and yummy ‘pakodas’, of a cup of steaming coffee and a certain ‘Love Story’ that brings tears to your eyes and makes you wish from the deepest core of your heart that the love that YOU have, lasts forever.

My Betrayal

It all began on a cold night,

I walked alone on deserted streets,

Too hurt to call you by my side

Too proud for strangers to view my defeat.

 

The moon it cast a thousand shadows,

Stars sparkled in the shimmering sea,

My vacant eyes stared ahead in space

Time had consumed both you and me.

 

He came up slowly by my side,

And touched me tenderly on my hand.

Surprised I turned and looked at him,

The sea thrashed its waves on the land. 

 

Uneasiness soon gave way to comfort,

He had the kindest eyes I had ever seen,

No words were spoken by any of us

I felt intrigued in a way I’d never been.

 

He asked if I would walk along,

I nodded my consent in the strangest way.

Wondering what drew me to his side

Hoping my heart wouldn’t give me away.

 

Two blocks down we came to his house

I waited for him to call me in,

He held my hand and guided me thru

I knew I’d surrendered to the original sin.

 

My eyes wandered in the living room

It lay illuminated in the silver moonlight,

Fire crackled steadily by the couch

Greeting the visitor of the bitter night.

 

Warmth filled up my entire body

I hung my coat on the rack nearby,

He strode in quietly with glasses of wine

And sat down beside me with a sigh.

 

As I sipped my wine, I glanced up once

He gazed at me with knowing eyes,

I tried to comprehend my feelings then,

Wondering if I had broken all other ties.

 

He removed the pin from my knotted hair,

They cascaded softly over my face,

He clasped my hands and drew me near,

Reluctantly I succumbed to passion’s pace.

 

Those frozen tears fell down at last

I held him close all through the night,

The morning rays now touched my skin

I woke up feeling complete and right.

 

You waited for me all night long

Never moved an inch from the door side,

Dawn crept in slowly thru the windows

The flowers in our garden had withered and died.

 

I walked in quietly through the door,

Your face lit up with a childlike smile

You embraced me in your loving way

I stood rigid and abashed all the while.

 

You pulled away confused and hurt,

I yearned to hold you one last time

Then spoke the truth in a single breath

Your silence killed me for my crime.

 

No shouts of hatred or anger prevailed,

Your face contorted in agony and pain

I turned away to hide my tears,

You wondered if your love had been in vain.

 

I lay crying by the couch,

You came and wiped my running tears,

I struggled to look up at your face

You seem to have abandoned all your fears.

 

Resigned to fate as you had never been

My heart broke into a million parts,

Your comfort and serenity pained me so

You possessed the purest of all hearts.

 

I packed my bags and got up to go,

Our memories came crashing thru the walls

You stood in a corner and watched me sob,

My vows seemed to echo in all the halls.

 

Today I see a broken house,

Your memories in my heart still run deep.

You forgave my betrayal with a smile,

I rest my head on your grave and weep…