My Betrayal

It all began on a cold night,

I walked alone on deserted streets,

Too hurt to call you by my side

Too proud for strangers to view my defeat.

 

The moon it cast a thousand shadows,

Stars sparkled in the shimmering sea,

My vacant eyes stared ahead in space

Time had consumed both you and me.

 

He came up slowly by my side,

And touched me tenderly on my hand.

Surprised I turned and looked at him,

The sea thrashed its waves on the land. 

 

Uneasiness soon gave way to comfort,

He had the kindest eyes I had ever seen,

No words were spoken by any of us

I felt intrigued in a way I’d never been.

 

He asked if I would walk along,

I nodded my consent in the strangest way.

Wondering what drew me to his side

Hoping my heart wouldn’t give me away.

 

Two blocks down we came to his house

I waited for him to call me in,

He held my hand and guided me thru

I knew I’d surrendered to the original sin.

 

My eyes wandered in the living room

It lay illuminated in the silver moonlight,

Fire crackled steadily by the couch

Greeting the visitor of the bitter night.

 

Warmth filled up my entire body

I hung my coat on the rack nearby,

He strode in quietly with glasses of wine

And sat down beside me with a sigh.

 

As I sipped my wine, I glanced up once

He gazed at me with knowing eyes,

I tried to comprehend my feelings then,

Wondering if I had broken all other ties.

 

He removed the pin from my knotted hair,

They cascaded softly over my face,

He clasped my hands and drew me near,

Reluctantly I succumbed to passion’s pace.

 

Those frozen tears fell down at last

I held him close all through the night,

The morning rays now touched my skin

I woke up feeling complete and right.

 

You waited for me all night long

Never moved an inch from the door side,

Dawn crept in slowly thru the windows

The flowers in our garden had withered and died.

 

I walked in quietly through the door,

Your face lit up with a childlike smile

You embraced me in your loving way

I stood rigid and abashed all the while.

 

You pulled away confused and hurt,

I yearned to hold you one last time

Then spoke the truth in a single breath

Your silence killed me for my crime.

 

No shouts of hatred or anger prevailed,

Your face contorted in agony and pain

I turned away to hide my tears,

You wondered if your love had been in vain.

 

I lay crying by the couch,

You came and wiped my running tears,

I struggled to look up at your face

You seem to have abandoned all your fears.

 

Resigned to fate as you had never been

My heart broke into a million parts,

Your comfort and serenity pained me so

You possessed the purest of all hearts.

 

I packed my bags and got up to go,

Our memories came crashing thru the walls

You stood in a corner and watched me sob,

My vows seemed to echo in all the halls.

 

Today I see a broken house,

Your memories in my heart still run deep.

You forgave my betrayal with a smile,

I rest my head on your grave and weep…

 

 

 

 

                       

 

~ by Ankita on April 11, 2008.